My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
