im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
