I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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