My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
