He asked me if I "almost moaned"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
