The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
