Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
