I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
