But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
