Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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