Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
