True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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