Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
