lets start a swedish sibling band together
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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