New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
