Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
