dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
