i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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