I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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