you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Even the bartender felt bad for me
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
