I am spending my child support on dildos
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just got carded by a ten year old.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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