he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
