can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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