Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
