If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
