you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
