the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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