so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize