Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
