Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
zippers are such a cool invention
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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