Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
