She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
