Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
not ubering you a puppy
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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