Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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