Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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