So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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