Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
