i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
