i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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