You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize