UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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