so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
MIDGETS
????
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
