So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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