I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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