Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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