I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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