I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
