I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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