Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
