So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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