You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
