the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
