she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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