When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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