I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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