Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
