Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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