In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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