sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Randomize
