yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
