She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
