I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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